Frequently Asked Questions(FAQ)
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"How does therapy help? Afterall isnt it simply talking?"
That's a very understandable question and dilemma. Words are potent, but the talking in therapy happens not only vis a vis words. Something gets said via silence, via how our body shifts or reacts, where how and when our mind wanders away, or the daydreams we have or the dreams that we bring in to the session as well. A lot is always transpiring between the therapist and client. Even when one thinks there is not much to talk about. And the therapist sits with you and takes all of this in to make more sense of your internal world, of how you experience yourself and based on that experience of receiving you, the therapist offers you something. The idea is to listen to you as intently as possible so you can also listen to yourself more clearly. And how that might help gradually is, it allows the person to find his/her own language to describe which until now felt out of bounds, indescribable and unbearable. Having a language or lending words to one’s internal states contains it and gives it some definition, as opposed to feeling lost and chaotic in oneself.
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The help comes from experiencing oneself in a new way vis-a-vis a new relationship with the therapist who unlike others might feel like someone able to sit with all your experiences, and all that you have to say, even if it is messy or hurtful. When we feel seen by another person who isnt trying to nudge us or push us in some unwarranted direction, but simply taking in and metabolizing with us everything we are sharing, then slowly we also are able to see ourselves more clearly and see that “ I have my own thinking mind, I can also stay with myself”
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"What does change look like with therapy? At times it feels like nothing is changing!"
The process of change in oneself doesn't look or feel linear. What that means is, that change in oneself might feel like you are orbiting the Sun, the Sun being lets say metaphorically the truth of oneself, of life,the reality of things. So at times one is farther away from the Sun, and that might feel like one is living under a cloud, or that one cant see things for what they are. Everything that one goes through seems to be marred by intense emotions or mental distortions which means things don't reach us how they truly are. One might wonder, “why do i do that” , “this isn't helpful and yet”. Well the mind tries to shield us essentially from any sort of pain. But doing that inevitably causes more pain for it robs us of seeing things how they really are and instead we might feel trapped or stuck in ourselves. Somewhere one desires to feel fuller, livelier but these distortions or pain avoidant mechanism block not only the painful experience but also the good experiences.
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Other times, one might feel close to the Sun, which feels like being closer to one’s own reality, one’s truth which doesn't feel as overwhelming or unbearable to sit with. This can feel like an ‘aha’ moment or a silent sense of calm that outwardly nothing has changed much but inwardly things feel a lot more calmer. Or that when you view the same things, events, people as before, it reaches you differently.
And the process of change is dynamic, one keeps moving back and forth, closer and farther away but even in all this confusing non-linear movement, a change in oneself happens bit by bit. It can feel like a subtle but stable shift in how one relates to oneself and others.
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"How long does therapy take?"
There is no one answer to this. Some people find it beneficial to take few sessions like 6-8 sessions spaced across 2-3 months, others might benefit from something more long term which might take an year to few years. It also depends on the severity of the emotional difficulty at hand and how chronic it is or overall impacting it is.
Short term therapy is useful when one is looking at changing something which came up of recently, is not part of their personality from a long time, doesn't impact their overall functioning and the person feels he/she is able to do well and show up in other facets of life, like work, relationships.
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Conversely long term therapy is more useful when the change that the person desires is all encompassing and not limited to one aspect of themselves or their lives, when they have feel there have been some chronic unhelpful patterns that are part of their mental makeup from as long as they can remember, and feel these unhelpful patterns have been limiting them in all facets of life. Additionally more sessions are also needed when the person went through something very traumatic or disturbing and needs time to recoup and come back to a sense of normalcy.
"Is it covered by insurance?"
Most insurance companies do provide coverage for therapy offered by Registered psychotherapists. It is best to check the same with your insurance company before starting with therapy. I provide the invoice which you can directly submit to the company and I provide with the receipt on receiving the fees.